After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Randomize
