I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
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