you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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