Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Randomize