I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
i barfeds in our rink
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
