people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
