So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
