Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
So much Jack, so little girl.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
