She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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