i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize