its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Randomize
