yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
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