They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Randomize
