bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
