I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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