apparently the secret to your success is patron
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Randomize
