i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
