mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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