hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
