I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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