haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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