I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
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