Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Drunk is not a location!
Randomize
