it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
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