it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
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Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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