No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize