I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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