In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
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