just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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