At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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