when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
