I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
