her vagina looked like bernie madoff
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Randomize
