What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
