I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize