I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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