Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
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