evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
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