Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
