of course. lets lasso hookers.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
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