i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
