**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
