Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
