from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
These People Had Regrettable One Night Stands
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
This Girl Makes Latte Art That’s Too Cute to Drink
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.