Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
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And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
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I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless