I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
was it more than 30 minutes?
then you're in a relationship
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.