Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
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