he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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