this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Randomize
