Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
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