Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
