And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Randomize
