If that was your dad, he is hot
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
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