I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I don't deserve a penis
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?