? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
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