I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
found the other keg... it's in the tree
27 Of The Most NSFW Life Hacks
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
23 Disturbing Small-Town Horror Stories
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.