I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.