At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.