It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you