Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
and you fell through a lawn chair