whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
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Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
ttyl tear gas
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
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My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me