so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.