Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(208): View more from Idaho

I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.

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(208): I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs. http://tfl.nu/3e1a

Replies (29) Good night (3471) Bad night (744)
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(803): View more from South Carolina

I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.

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(803): I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone. http://tfl.nu/wy7e

Replies (14) Good night (4069) Bad night (1992)
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(580): View more from Oklahoma

That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.

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(580): That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything. http://tfl.nu/fbvq

Replies (77) Good night (2705) Bad night (5013)
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(973): View more from New Jersey

all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.

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(973): all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist. http://tfl.nu/t7vc

Replies (27) Good night (5591) Bad night (1199)
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(708): View more from Illinois

Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.

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(708): Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud. http://tfl.nu/swnn

Replies (15) Good night (4513) Bad night (1635)
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(740): View more from Ohio

you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god

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(740): you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god http://tfl.nu/byer

Replies (25) Good night (7674) Bad night (1205)
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(831): View more from California

I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"

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(831): I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency" http://tfl.nu/zhku

Replies (9) Good night (4141) Bad night (1109)
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(763): View more from Minnesota

i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday

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(763): i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday http://tfl.nu/8jt2

Replies (3) Good night (2171) Bad night (950)
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(317): View more from Indiana

Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.

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(317): Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays. http://tfl.nu/4yhe

Replies (9) Good night (1775) Bad night (1135)
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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.

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(215): I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident. http://tfl.nu/6tc4

Replies (13) Good night (1758) Bad night (804)
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(250): View more from British Columbia

Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?

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(250): Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude? http://tfl.nu/r6rp

Replies (2) Good night (1210) Bad night (588)
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(727): View more from Florida

Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position

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(727): Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position http://tfl.nu/l5hj

Replies (4) Good night (767) Bad night (385)
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(202): View more from Washington, DC

I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL

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(202): I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL http://tfl.nu/l7q5

Replies (9) Good night (592) Bad night (408)
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(301): View more from Maryland

I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth

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(301): I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth http://tfl.nu/nt7d

Replies (4) Good night (505) Bad night (440)
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(407): View more from Florida

His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.

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(407): His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out. http://tfl.nu/k2zd

Replies (0) Good night (810) Bad night (257)

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