Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Randomize
