Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
