Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
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