I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
