I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Randomize