I CAN MOONWALK!
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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