I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize